“The emotion of fear often works overtime. Even when
there is no immediate threat, our body may remain tight and on guard, our mind
narrowed to focus on what might go wrong. When this happens, fear is no longer
functioning to secure our survival. We are caught in the trance of fear and our
moment-to-moment experience becomes bound in reactivity. We spend our time and
energy defending our life rather than living it fully.”
― Tara Brach, Radical Acceptance: Embracing
Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha
is conscious awareness of your thoughts and the impact they have on you, so you
can release the thoughts that aren’t serving you and replace them with more
positive ones that will help you get the results you want.
Becoming more mindful in everyday living allows you
to see the extraordinary in the ordinary, to reconnect with your body as well
as your sensory experience, and to become more responsive (rather than reactive)
to the challenges of everyday living.
is to FACE WHAT IS…and accepting it without judgement.
Improves physical health
Improves mental health
There are several
ways to practice mindfulness and all train the mind to refocus on the present
Basic mindfulness meditation
All of these
mindfulness techniques are a form of meditation and are much easier to
incorporate into your daily lives. The essence of any mindfulness practice
involves accepting whatever arises in your awareness from moment to moment.
Then, allowing this vibrational energy to move through you peacefully as you
practice being kind and forgiving to yourself.
Mindfulness is the perfect tool to stay present in the moment and experience your life now.
When you are resting because you are exhausted, you need to remember you are not wasting the day doing nothing. You are doing exactly what you need to do… You are recovering.
Give yourself space to Tend to the Emotional Body When
it Aches… Our emotive body is not separate from the rest of our being and
requires the same tending and attention as our physical body. When there is
pain, when it aches, when your heart breaks, healing demands your sweetest
attention. Hold yourself as if you were healing from an illness. Be utterly
kind to yourself. Stay close to yourself, let it flow through, move in and out
of giving the pain your attention. Touch and go with the ache so it can be harmonized
and integrated. Care for the whole of yourself as if you were the most precious
1. Remind yourself that you are bigger than the pain
you are processing.
2. Get out in nature, it is profoundly healing.
3. Get body work.
4. Practice responsible emotional expression (scream
in a tub, cry, set a timer so you don’t indulge).
5. Eat nourishing, easy to digest foods.
6. Drink water.
7. Seek out people that know and love you well, ask
them to affirm you.
8. Remove the pressure to be “okay.” You don’t have to be okay, and happy isn’t the goal. There are messages, creation, and a host of beauty in the pain. Be with it.
9. Take things off your schedule and give yourself
10. Avoid making decisions.
11. Move your body. Yoga. Running. Hiking.
Processed pain is a well of wisdom and in invitation
to integrate pieces of ourselves that may have been cast aside until this very
moment. When you are processing pain avoid the “why” and focus on questions
like “how can I experience peace? What can I experience now that wasn’t
possible at any other moment. How can I be reacquainted with love?” This is the
work. Loving ourselves steady. Know the choice to heal by creating space to
ground and balance.
“My consciousness is not contained within my body.
My body is contained within my consciousness.”
Your Life Transforms When YOU Transform!
In order to receive what you want in life you need to love yourself first! The beliefs you learned, especially from ages 0 – 7, are likely running your life. They formed your self-image and your self-image determines what is possible, and not possible, for you.
Underneath the mud of your limitations exists the most
precious gem… THE REAL YOU!
You are not your limitations. Honestly, who you truly
are is so much greater than what you’ve come to believe. You have supreme
worth. Your potential is unlimited.
YOU CAN BE, DO, and HAVE ALL YOU WANT!
You have the power to choose to rewrite the programs
that say otherwise.
You are a magnet attracting what you subconsciously
believe you are… The pattern, drama, trauma from this lifetime or from
generations before you.
Once you realise who you really are and love yourself
first, you will attract the results you want naturally, because your self-love
connects you to the higher part of you (source) and you become a magnet
attracting your new reality that reflects your love and worth.
YOU CAN REMOVE THE BLOCKS THAT COVER YOUR
Always here for you, holding the space to work
one-on-one together where I will guide you how to remove the blocks that cover
up who you really are.
Do you know that dis-ease in your life, such as a
health condition or an undesirable relationship, for example, is merely attempting
to give you feedback to get to the root cause of your problem of what you need
to change inside of you?
You most likely will not be aware of the root cause
yet, but I will teach you how to listen, and once we are aware of the limiting
belief that is causing you pain, we will transform it.
Together in alignment with ‘love and above’ we will
transform your self-image, and therefore, the results in your life.
“One moment can change a day, one day can change a life and one life can change the world.”-Buddha
At some point we receive the phone call that shifts reality, connects us deeper to spirit if we choose to stay aligned with this truth – Life is happening for you! The night before last was the second call I’ve received of this resonance. To have the universe reunite your tribe of childhood characters and lay on the table the significance of living life free and present, death of the body, rebirth of a new soul and the only power there is “love”.
Today I invite you to live and die well, to walk home your own unique way. I believe we each have the ability to engage meaningfully and creatively, one heartbeat at a time.
Another notion to remember is that energy never dies. Our bodies will, but our souls continue to live on as energy. This knowledge, while sometimes difficult to face up to, is ultimately very liberating.
There need be no fear attached to death. In fact, not all cultures believe that death is scary. Knowing that our Spirits are in control of when we incarnate, when we die and what we experience while we are on the Earthly Plane all combine into a liberating acceptance of death. By keeping these things foremost in your mind will assist your loved one. Why? Because you will bring an energy of acceptance and openness, rather than of fear and loss, into their presence. They will sense a peaceful energy and be calmed and comforted by it.
By creating a soothing environment, you can raise the vibrations of the space your loved one is in, which will decrease their fear and stress. Even though they chose the time of their passing, the Soul typically doesn’t remember the plans made.
So in my unique way I walked my childhood friend home.
P.S. The candles will stay on in my home to remind you to fly high.
P.S.S. Your tribe will come together to honour your life. Much Love always to you Mira, sending all my healing energy to your family. You are a beautiful Being. xx
“Change happens through movement and movement heals.” -Joseph H. Pilates
In gratitude to Studio Pilates International and their engaging and informative Reformer Pilates Course I made space to complete over the past three months. Continuing to advance your career essentially means forging ahead with the skill set you possess, as well as learning new techniques that can help you and your business grow now and into the future. While at the beginning of your career you may feel quite green, the more you learn and practice, the better equipped you will feel to handle all kinds of situations. The skills you learn throughout your life may come in handy as your business expands into new markets and industries. You may have learned a niche that suddenly becomes popular later in life, or you may sharpen your skills so much so that you are ‘the expert’ that others turn to for advice. Staying on top of your game is key to retaining these skills. Below are the 14 best ways to make sure you’re constantly improving the skills you need to know, so that you have them when you need them: 1. Design a System of Improvement 2. Remain Open to Learning 3. Take Online Classes With Friends 4. Actually Implement What You Learn 5. Read Relevant Blogs 6. Read Books Written By People With Similar Lives 7. Follow Industry Leaders on Social Media 8. Use ‘Rest Hacks’ That Work 9. Practice Where the Stakes Are Low 10. Attend Seminars 11. Learn and Teach Your Skills to Others 12. Take Short, Intensive Classes 13. Get a Mentor 14. Make Mistakes
Keep inspiring. What you do for yourself you will authentically do for others with the flow of grace. Much Love xx
Learning to Self-Coach is truly an amazing skill. Everyone can do it, and everyone NEEDS it!
Why do we have problems? Because of how we think. Every action we take or don’t take, every feeling we feel, every result we have in our life, derives from the thoughts we’re focusing on.
“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”
The more aware we are of what we’re thinking (mindful of our mind), the more control we have over our feelings and life. This is clearly illustrated by CTFAR a widely-used thought model (Brooke Castillos model).
Along with an understanding of Emotional Intelligence (will cover this in my next post), the CTFAR model can ultimately change your results by being more aware of your model that you are currently running.
Truth is, many of us call ourselves adults, but most of us are still functioning as emotional children. There is no class in our education system unto which you learn how to become emotionally mature adults. Therefore, if no one has taught you how to control your own thoughts, and take responsibility for your own actions, and thus the results, one can remain in emotional childhood forever… or at the very least fall back into it when feeling under pressure. Even once we are taught, it takes awareness and practice.
It is not something we do on purpose, most of our parents still function as emotional children as well, thus continuing the cycle of non-awareness, buffering, indulgence (i.e. victim or villain) and hiding our emotions.
In emotional childhood, we behave like children: relying on others to take care of us, acting upon impulse, and walking around like victims.
It’s time to break that cycle and live in the fullest potential of our human and spiritual experience this lifetime.
Some examples of typical emotional childhood behaviours that you may recognize in yourself are:
Wanting immediate gratification; impatience.
Rebelling against the very things you want.
Giving someone else the job of taking care of making you happy when only you can make you happy.
Saying, “It’s not fair.”
Playing the victim and saying, “It’s their fault.”
Being fussy and picky over little things.
Pouting or giving the silent treatment when you feel wronged.
There is no shame if some of these behaviours show up in your everyday life, the key is to start to notice it. And try to move yourself from emotional childhood (outward focused, i.e. “They did something to make me feel this way”) to emotional adulthood (inward focused, “I am in charge of how I feel.”).
While it can be difficult to take responsibility for our own emotions, it’s also very freeing. If you are responsible for your own emotions, then the words and actions of another person cannot make you feel a certain way.
You get to choose how you feel!
The CTFR model consists of 5 parts and every single thing that happens in life can fit into one of these 5 areas: circumstances, thoughts, feelings, actions, or results. The beauty of the CTFAR model is you can start with any area and identify the corresponding emotion, triggers and actions interchangeably.
Let’s explore the CTFAR model…
There are certain things that happen in our lives. Those things are the circumstances or facts of our lives.
They are the objective and unbiased truths of our lives. Everyone would agree that they are what they are.
For example, I have a mum and dad is a circumstance of my life. It’s a fact. I have amazing parents is not a circumstance.
Thoughts are sentences in our head that are not necessarily true. We have between 60-80,000 thoughts a day and we get to choose which thoughts to focus on. We think thoughts about the circumstances of our lives. Often, we think our thoughts are true when they are usually subjective.
For example, take the circumstance that it’s raining. That’s a fact. I may choose to think that it’s going to be a bad day because it’s raining. That’s a thought.
Depending on the thoughts we focus on, we will feel a certain way. Feelings can be described in a single word and are often called emotions. Feelings are physical sensations that we feel in our body. Emotions = energy in motion. We feel what we feel because of the thought we’re thinking.
Using the rain example, if I think: “today will be a bad day because it’s raining”, I may feel discouraged or depressed.
Our feelings lead us to take certain actions in our lives. We either act, re-act, or in-act.
If I think the thought: “Today will be a bad day because it’s raining”, feel discouraged, I may choose to lie on the couch and watch TV instead of doing what I had planned. (in-act).
The actions (or inaction or reaction) I take will lead to a result in my life that always points back to the original thought I chose to focus on.
In this case, me lying on the couch and not doing what I had planned to do leads to the result that today is a bad day and confirms my original thought.
As you can see from above, our thoughts drive everything we do. Thus, change your thought, and you in turn change your behaviour, and thus your results.
It is your thoughts that are giving you the results you are getting from the universe, not the circumstance or your actions.
We adults should not underestimate how many of us are on automatic pilot, playing out the programming of our childhood without question. We do what we think we should do, based on what we were told as children, and we have never taken the time now as adults to evaluate whether it still applies or makes sense.
Use the CTFAR model to find the limiting thought that is affecting your feelings, actions and thus your results. Quite often, we aren’t even aware of the thought that is holding us back.
Emotional adulthood is simple but not easy. It requires us to step up to our lives with a level of responsibility that this culture doesn’t usually show. But we’re changing. One person at a time. This is the reason I became a coach because I want everyone to feel this freedom; the choice of power. The freedom of knowing that how you feel is in your control always… The freedom of knowing that nothing anyone does or says can make you feel a certain way. We are not taught this in school and I was not taught this at home. I dedicate my life to teaching this “awake” way of being. I went through many years of my life feeling like I was a victim of my circumstances; of things that had happened to me. I was a victim of my thoughts about what happened and my thoughts about what my life should’ve been like. No longer… not on my watch! I was (and like many of you are experiencing now) not a victim of anything other than my own mismanaged mind.
Life is beautiful. Life isn’t happening to you; life is responding to you. Choose the greatest power you have – Being Awake.
“You can either be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasure. It all depends on how you view your life.”
Master your emotional life. This is my ‘why’ in my dedication to continual Personal Development. This is a conscious choice I make every day where my intention is not to feel better, rather it is LEARNING HOW BETTER TO FEEL! This UNIVERSAL TRUTH is one of our toughest lessons and most rewarding in our journey of Personal Development. Stepping back to look at your triggers and shadows is confronting and humbling. Removing yourself as the victim in a scenario and unpacking why you are feeling a certain way is uncomfortable on all levels.
Do you really think there is space to do genuine personal growth if we remained as the victim, personalised every situation and blamed everyone else for the way we feel and experience life?
It will feel awkward when you begin the process of looking at your triggers and weak spots because you have never done this before. It’s like starting a new fitness training program – the first few weeks will hurt, you’ll be tired… and as your body gets used to the movement you begin to really enjoy it!
Give yourself permission and make space to do “the work”… to look into the mirror and ask yourself why you feel a certain way, and why you have invited these sequences of events into your life to grow you.
You’ll be grateful for the insight these answers hold for you and for the peaceful resolution that comes from deep reflection.
If this resonates, take action and know I am here for you.