Self-Coach – Using the CTFAR Model!

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Learning to Self-Coach is truly an amazing skill. Everyone can do it, and everyone NEEDS it!

Why do we have problems? Because of how we think. Every action we take or don’t take, every feeling we feel, every result we have in our life, derives from the thoughts we’re focusing on.

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”

-Wayne Dyer

The more aware we are of what we’re thinking (mindful of our mind), the more control we have over our feelings and life. This is clearly illustrated by CTFAR a widely-used thought model (Brooke Castillos model).

Along with an understanding of Emotional Intelligence (will cover this in my next post), the CTFAR model can ultimately change your results by being more aware of your model that you are currently running.

Truth is, many of us call ourselves adults, but most of us are still functioning as emotional children. There is no class in our education system unto which you learn how to become emotionally mature adults. Therefore, if no one has taught you how to control your own thoughts, and take responsibility for your own actions, and thus the results, one can remain in emotional childhood forever… or at the very least fall back into it when feeling under pressure. Even once we are taught, it takes awareness and practice.

It is not something we do on purpose, most of our parents still function as emotional children as well, thus continuing the cycle of non-awareness, buffering, indulgence (i.e. victim or villain) and hiding our emotions.

In emotional childhood, we behave like children: relying on others to take care of us, acting upon impulse, and walking around like victims.

It’s time to break that cycle and live in the fullest potential of our human and spiritual experience this lifetime.

Some examples of typical emotional childhood behaviours that you may recognize in yourself are:

  • Wanting immediate gratification; impatience.
  • Rebelling against the very things you want.
  • Giving someone else the job of taking care of making you happy when only you can make you happy.
  • Saying, “It’s not fair.”
  • Playing the victim and saying, “It’s their fault.”
  • Being fussy and picky over little things.
  • Pouting or giving the silent treatment when you feel wronged.

There is no shame if some of these behaviours show up in your everyday life, the key is to start to notice it. And try to move yourself from emotional childhood (outward focused, i.e. “They did something to make me feel this way”) to emotional adulthood (inward focused, “I am in charge of how I feel.”).

While it can be difficult to take responsibility for our own emotions, it’s also very freeing. If you are responsible for your own emotions, then the words and actions of another person cannot make you feel a certain way.

You get to choose how you feel!

The CTFR model consists of 5 parts and every single thing that happens in life can fit into one of these 5 areas: circumstances, thoughts, feelings, actions, or results. The beauty of the CTFAR model is you can start with any area and identify the corresponding emotion, triggers and actions interchangeably.

Let’s explore the CTFAR model…

CIRCUMSTANCES (FACTS):

There are certain things that happen in our lives. Those things are the circumstances or facts of our lives.

They are the objective and unbiased truths of our lives. Everyone would agree that they are what they are.

For example, I have a mum and dad is a circumstance of my life. It’s a fact. I have amazing parents is not a circumstance.

THOUGHTS: 

Thoughts are sentences in our head that are not necessarily true. We have between 60-80,000 thoughts a day and we get to choose which thoughts to focus on. We think thoughts about the circumstances of our lives. Often, we think our thoughts are true when they are usually subjective.

For example, take the circumstance that it’s raining. That’s a fact. I may choose to think that it’s going to be a bad day because it’s raining. That’s a thought. 

FEELINGS:

Depending on the thoughts we focus on, we will feel a certain way. Feelings can be described in a single word and are often called emotions. Feelings are physical sensations that we feel in our body. Emotions = energy in motion. We feel what we feel because of the thought we’re thinking.

Using the rain example, if I think: “today will be a bad day because it’s raining”, I may feel discouraged or depressed.

Here is a list of common feelings.

ACTIONS:

Our feelings lead us to take certain actions in our lives. We either act, re-act, or in-act.

If I think the thought: “Today will be a bad day because it’s raining”, feel discouraged, I may choose to lie on the couch and watch TV instead of doing what I had planned. (in-act).

RESULT:

The actions (or inaction or reaction) I take will lead to a result in my life that always points back to the original thought I chose to focus on.

In this case, me lying on the couch and not doing what I had planned to do leads to the result that today is a bad day and confirms my original thought.

As you can see from above, our thoughts drive everything we do. Thus, change your thought, and you in turn change your behaviour, and thus your results.

It is your thoughts that are giving you the results you are getting from the universe, not the circumstance or your actions.

We adults should not underestimate how many of us are on automatic pilot, playing out the programming of our childhood without question. We do what we think we should do, based on what we were told as children, and we have never taken the time now as adults to evaluate whether it still applies or makes sense.

Use the CTFAR model to find the limiting thought that is affecting your feelings, actions and thus your results. Quite often, we aren’t even aware of the thought that is holding us back.

Emotional adulthood is simple but not easy. It requires us to step up to our lives with a level of responsibility that this culture doesn’t usually show. But we’re changing. One person at a time. This is the reason I became a coach because I want everyone to feel this freedom; the choice of power. The freedom of knowing that how you feel is in your control always… The freedom of knowing that nothing anyone does or says can make you feel a certain way. We are not taught this in school and I was not taught this at home. I dedicate my life to teaching this “awake” way of being. I went through many years of my life feeling like I was a victim of my circumstances; of things that had happened to me. I was a victim of my thoughts about what happened and my thoughts about what my life should’ve been like. No longer… not on my watch! I was (and like many of you are experiencing now) not a victim of anything other than my own mismanaged mind.

Life is beautiful. Life isn’t happening to you; life is responding to you. Choose the greatest power you have – Being Awake.

Always here for you – visit: niso.com.au/mindset–wellbeing.html

Much Love xx

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Learning How Better To Feel = Personal Development

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“You can either be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasure. It all depends on how you view your life.”
-Paulo Coelho
Master your emotional life. This is my ‘why’ in my dedication to continual Personal Development. This is a conscious choice I make every day where my intention is not to feel better, rather it is LEARNING HOW BETTER TO FEEL! This UNIVERSAL TRUTH is one of our toughest lessons and most rewarding in our journey of Personal Development. Stepping back to look at your triggers and shadows is confronting and humbling. Removing yourself as the victim in a scenario and unpacking why you are feeling a certain way is uncomfortable on all levels.
Do you really think there is space to do genuine personal growth if we remained as the victim, personalised every situation and blamed everyone else for the way we feel and experience life?
It will feel awkward when you begin the process of looking at your triggers and weak spots because you have never done this before. It’s like starting a new fitness training program – the first few weeks will hurt, you’ll be tired… and as your body gets used to the movement you begin to really enjoy it!
Give yourself permission and make space to do “the work”… to look into the mirror and ask yourself why you feel a certain way, and why you have invited these sequences of events into your life to grow you.
You’ll be grateful for the insight these answers hold for you and for the peaceful resolution that comes from deep reflection.
If this resonates, take action and know I am here for you.

Much Love xx

 

TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR ENERGY – The Power of Words!

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This past year has been an amazing year for myself and clients as well as colleagues, friends and family. I am truly grateful for every soul and scenario that crossed my path – so much learning, guidance and grounding to be found in every encounter. In gratitude also for the teachers that awakened me to the ‘love and above’ levels of consciousness.

Take charge of your energy! The power of words! That is what it is all about. It really is that simple. Your mind directs your energy. Your spirit is there awaiting you.

The word ‘God’ for some or ‘Source’ for others is ALL THERE IS – and has enormous vibration. You have to find a word that brings that feeling of goose-bumps to you, that lifts your heart up and open. We are programmed to believe certain things and that this is how we should think and this is what we should feel… You need to listen to the vibration of your own body and you find that word that encompasses the feeling of ‘Source’ and ‘all that is’. For me – in my heart and in my mind when I say ‘God’ I get the vibration because that is my intent… to touch that, to be filled with that feeling, with that emotion. Know it’s all in our minds and our programming. If you get negative vibrations from that word then don’t use it.

Find one (any) word that vibrates right with you, what gives you the most powerful, wonderful –

‘like I came home’

‘like I am safe’ and

‘I am loved’

there is nothing but that.

What word gives that feeling? What word brings that feeling to you? Then use that word to access this sacred awareness.

For those people in your life where they say statements about themselves “this always happens to me” or “all the people in my life are violent’ are unconscious to the power of words even when you suggest to them to change your words. They reply “really?” or “it can’t be just changing your words… I will just be lying to myself…”

It is just CHANGING THE WORDS! And you are not lying to yourself. You need to speak it until its true!

If this always happens to you then it will continue to happen to you as long as you embrace that idea, or you accept that idea. Because your energy is accepting this is my place, this is what I deserve, this is how it happens. You need to embrace the idea – which for a lot of people can be scary.

It’s much easier for us as a species to say “life has treated me badly” and “these things always happen to me” than it is to say “you know what – I’m going to take charge of what I can control, and that’s how I perceive and how I react” and to stick with that and be dedicated and determined to empower myself.

And as I take responsibility for my actions, my words and my thoughts, and reject responsibility for everyone else’s – I allow them to hold it. Then what you see happening is this gradual but absolutely sure transformation to things that happen to you. They happen because you bought good things to you.

You bought strength to you. You stepped into a pyramid of power that says “I am willing to take responsibility!” I am responsible for my perception and my reaction. I am responsible for my thoughts and my words and how I behave. And that taking responsibility will change your energy and your life.

I support you in finding your truth. I want for you the best version of yourself. Set your vision for 2019 and know I am here in unconditional love and truth to guide you on your unique journey to manifesting a life of possibility and positive vibes.

Happy New Year xx

Frozen Blueberry Bites Are the Sweet Little Treat You’ve Been Craving – Approved by “Power Foods Fitness”

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Healthy, delicious and easy to make with only three ingredients in total. This ‘PureWow‘ recipe will become a go-to favourite for snacks after school and work, as well as busy weekends.

Ingredients and Instructions:
– 227g vanilla yogurt
– 2 teaspoons lemon juice
– 473g blueberries

Step 1: In a large bowl, carefully mix the blueberries, lemon juice and yogurt together. (Be gentle; you don’t want any berries to get squished.)

Step 2: Scoop out the yogurt-coated blueberries one by one and place them on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.

Step 3: Freeze for two hours before serving.

Watch this video to see how super easy these are to make:

https://www.purewow.com/food/frozen-blueberry-bites-recipe

Enjoy! xx

 

Great Protein Debate – ‘Which Protein is Best?’

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Protein powders are very popular among health conscious people of all ages and stages of fitness experience.
There are many types of protein powders, made from a wide variety of sources.
Among the many options, it can be confusing to figure out which will provide the best results.
This article explains scientifically the best types of protein powder:

http://mp-body.com/BlogRetrieve.aspx?PostID=330739&A=SearchResult&SearchID=10279916&ObjectID=330739&ObjectType=55

Protein powders essentially provide high-quality protein in a concentrated, convenient form.
Although not everyone needs protein powder supplements, they can benefit people who strength train, exercise frequently, or find it difficult to meet protein needs with food alone.

Happy reading xx

Ask The Protein Powder Chef: What’s Your Recipe For Protein Bread? – Approved by “Power Foods Fitness”

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This Protein Bread recipe is gluten free and perfect for those that are nut allergic or intolerant. The Protein Powder Chef’s specialty is cooking with protein powder. This recipe is easy to make, versatile and tastes delicious.

So you may prepare the best version of this Protein Bread recipe to remedy your food allergic, intolerance and absorption needs please keep reading:

  • replace buckwheat flour with sunflower seed flour or coconut flour; and/or
  • replace milk with rice milk or coconut milk.

Source: Ask The Protein Powder Chef: What’s Your Recipe For Protein Bread?

Enjoy this high protein and low carb Protein Bread inside or outside the metabolic window of intense exercise. xx

Top 10 Foods Highest in Iron endorsed by “Power Foods Fitness”

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Iron is an essential mineral used to transport oxygen to all parts of the body. A slight deficiency in iron causes anemia i.e. fatigue/weakness, and a chronic deficiency can lead to organ failure. Conversely, too much iron leads to production of harmful free radicals, and also interferes with metabolism, causing damage to organs like the heart and liver. The body is able to regulate uptake of iron, so overdose is very rare and usually only occurs when people take supplements.

HealthAliciousNess.com has written a great post detailing the best types of iron. Read more:

“ Iron from natural food sources, like the ones listed below, are considered safe and healthy. While iron is better absorbed from heme (meat) sources, non-heme (plant) iron is better regulated causing less damage to the body. High iron foods include clams, liver, sunflower seeds, nuts, beef, lamb, beans, whole grains, dark leafy greens (spinach), dark chocolate, and tofu. The current daily value (DV) for iron is 18 milligrams (mg). Below is a list of high iron foods. For more high iron foods see the lists of high iron foods by nutrient density, iron rich foods (heme and non-heme), and the list of fruits and vegetables high in iron.”

#1: Squash and Pumpkin Seeds

Iron in 100g 1 cup (227g) 1 ounce (142 seeds) (28g)
15mg (83% DV) 34mg (188% DV) 4mg (23% DV)

Other Seeds High in Iron (%DV per ounce (28g)): Sesame (23%), Sunflower (11%), and Flax (9%). Click to see complete nutrition facts.

#2: Liver (Chicken)

Iron in 100g 1 Liver (44g) 1 ounce (28g)
13mg (72% DV) 5.7mg (32% DV) 3.6mg (20% DV)

1 tablespoon of chicken liver pate provides 7% DV. One ounce of liverwurst sausage provides 10% DV. Click to see complete nutrition facts.

#3: Seafood (Oysters, Mussels, Clams)

Iron in 100g 3oz (85g) 1 Medium Oyster (25g)
9.2mg (51% DV) 7.8mg (43% DV) 2.3mg (13% DV)

More Seafood High in Iron (%DV per 3oz (85g)): Cuttlefish (51%), Whelk(48%), Octopus (45%), Mussels (32%), Abalone (18%), and Scallops (14%). Click to see complete nutrition facts.

#4: Nuts (Cashew, Pine, Hazelnut, Peanut, Almond)

Iron in 100g 1 cup (129g) 1 ounce (18 cashews) (28g)
6.1mg (34% DV) 7.8mg (43% DV) 1.7mg (9% DV)

Other Nuts High in Iron (%DV per ounce (28g)): Pine nuts(9%), Hazelnuts (7%), Peanuts (7%), Almonds (7%), Pistachios (7%), and Macadamia (6%). Click to see complete nutrition facts.

#5: Beef and Lamb (Lean Chuck Roast)

Iron in 100g 1 lb roast (454g) 3 ounce serving (85g)
3.8mg (21% DV) 17mg (96% DV) 3.2mg (18% DV)

A Rib-Eye Steak (10oz, 281g) provides 41% DV. A serving of Lean Lamb Roast (3oz, 85g) provides 13% DV. A Lamb Chop (4oz, 155g) provides 10% DV. Click to see complete nutrition facts.

#6: Beans and Pulses (White Beans, Lentils)

Iron in 100g 1 cup cooked (179g) 1 Tablespoon (11g)
3.7mg (21% DV) 6.6mg (37% DV) 0.5mg (2% DV)

Other Beans High in Iron (%DV per cup cooked): Soybeans (49%), Lentils (37%), Kidney beans (29%), Garbanzo beans (Chickpeas) (26%), and Lima beans (25%), Navy (24%), Black Beans (Frijoles Negros) (20%), Pinto (20%), and Black-eyed Peas (20%). Click to see complete nutrition facts.

#7: Whole Grains, Fortified Cereals, and Bran

Iron in 100g of Quinoa 1 cup of Quinoa (185g)
1.5mg (8% DV) 2.8mg (15% DV)

Other Grains High in Iron (%DV per cup cooked): Oatmeal (12%), Barley (12%), Rice (11%), Bulgur (10%), Buckwheat (7%), and Millet (6%). Fortified cereals provide up to 140% DV of iron per cup. Check nutrition facts, and also be careful of the high sugar level in commercial cereals. Bran from whole grains can harm absorption of iron supplements, while whole grains are a good source of iron, they should not be consumed with iron supplements. Click to see complete nutrition facts.

#8: Dark Leafy Greens (Spinach, Swiss Chard)

Iron in 100g 1 cup of Cooked Spinach (180g)
3.6mg (20% DV) 6mg (36% DV)

Other Greens High in Iron (%DV per cup): Cooked Swiss Chard (22%), Cooked Turnip Greens (16%), Raw Kale (6%), and Raw Beet Greens (5%). Click to see complete nutrition facts.

#9: Dark Chocolate and Cocoa Powder

Iron in 100g 1 cup grated (132g) 1 Square (29g)
17mg (97% DV) 23mg (128% DV) 5mg (28% DV)

1 cup of cocoa powder provides 66% DV. A 1.5oz (44g) candy chocolate bar provides 6% DV. Click to see complete nutrition facts.

#10: Tofu

Iron in 100g 1 cup of firm tofu (126g) 1/4 Block (81g)
2.7mg (15% DV) 3.4mg (19% DV) 2.2mg (12% DV)

Calcium can interfere with non-heme iron absorption. Try to buy tofu without added calcium for greater iron absorption. Click to see complete nutrition facts.

Eat your way to optimum health and happiness xx